I wrote my first poem when I was five. It sounded something like this:
My mother died,
My father died,
Therefore, I am an orphan.
My parents laughed their heads off and reproached me for having killed them. My mother said that my poetry was devoid of artistic value, but my father tried to be nice and remarked that although lacking in sophistication, it did have some logical merit. I was deeply offended. I decided I will never write again, I shall not be ridiculed. This decision, however, was like a pregnant woman's decision to not give birth.
I feel most alive when I am writing. I will never be able to impart the experience of happiness, frustration, elation, despair and joy that are my lot while writing. Whether fiction or non-fiction, from a certain point on in the writing, the book/story/poem takes over, and I am the spectator. Nothing compares to experiencing the rich emotional scale triggered by writing. And now, I would like to share some of my writing with you.
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היה זה באחד מלילות יוני של שנת 1987 בו לא עלה בידי להירדם, וצמד המלים, בעלי חיים, חזרו ועלו במוחי ללא הרף. התהפכתי על משכבי הלוך ושוב, אבל החזרתיות המטרידה המשיכה להדהד ולא הרפתה, ללא אף מחשבה אחרת, ללא כל התפתחות, ללא כל תמונה - עד שקמתי ממיטתי וכתבתי אותן. ואז, מילה אחרת עלתה במחשבתי, ואחריה נוספת. כאשר שטף המחשבות פסק, קימטתי את הנייר עליו כתבתי, והשלכתי אותו לפח האשפה. התמתחתי, ועשיתי את דרכי חזרה למיטה, תוהה מה היה כל העניין הזה - מה שרבטתי? לא הצלחתי לזכור כלום ממה ששפע כך מידי לנייר. בעודי משרכת דרכי אל חדר-השינה, עייפה אך גם סקרנית, סבתי על עקביי, ושבתי כדי לשלוף את פיסת הנייר המקומטת מפח האשפה.
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This is a magnum opus. Like Sartre, Szalai expresses difficult concepts in a breathtaking story.
Professor Harry Friedmann
Bar-Ilan University
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What if, instead of an easy three steps to self-betterment, instead of answers, dogmas, generalizations and stereotypes, we simply looked and observed? What if, instead of yearning to feel sheltered within our knowledge of the world, we refrained from the neat labeling and categorization of everything we encountered? What if, instead of looking for security, we embraced uncertainty and lived comfortably in it?
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Throughout history, both philosophy and science focused on the defined object (the nature of this or that object or idea), which I call significance, ignoring the fact that any explicit act of definition implies the indefinite beyond. The act of definition is the fundamental paradox of existence. Can a notion, such as "absolute wholeness" exist? What would have happened if instead of "I think, therefore I exist", Descartes would have said, "I experience, therefore I exist"?
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