Heralding

One June night in 1987, I couldn't fall asleep, and one word, animals, kept repeating in my mind. I kept turning in bed, but the repetition persisted without any thoughts attached to it, without development, without pictures - until I got up and wrote it down. Then another word appeared in my mind, and then another. When the avalanche finished, I crumpled the paper I had written and threw it into the wastebasket. I stretched and was on my way back to bed wondering what that was all about - what did I scribble? I couldn't remember anything that had flowed from my hand to the page. Going up to my bedroom, tired but curious, I turned on my heels and went back to fish out the crumpled piece of paper from the wastebasket.

It was Session 1. What's that? I wondered. Moreover, I asked, Who wrote that? For it certainly could not have been me. I didn't even think what this paper contained. What's happening to me, for God's sake? I said aloud, for I thought I was going bananas. I was flooded with ambiguous feelings. On the one hand, I was excited, recognizing the possibility for more information. I thought I might have discovered a bottomless well of knowledge that I had longed for all my life. On the other hand, however, I was quite scared that my sanity had taken leave. Spiritual weirdoes with their glassy eyes and frozen smiles preaching universal love and light never appealed to me, especially when I saw with what violence they react when you scratch the saccharine surface of their message. I wondered what it was that gave me the information on this piece of paper. Something outside my self? My own subconscious? And more importantly, why?

The next day, I sat down with pen and paper and waited. Maybe it was a one-time fluke, I reasoned, but perhaps not. I waited, and the experience came again. That second session was about science, about "unseen matter," which seemed total nonsense to me at the time. Later, however, I learned that there is something called "dark matter," which is responsible for 90-95% of the mass of the universe. It is called "dark" because it is unseen, and scientists search for its form, something that they can measure, because they cannot see it and only know about it because of its gravitational effect.

I continued getting more texts, and I discovered that I could direct questions and receive answers in the half trance-state wherein my sensory perceptions were increased but at the same time I felt as if I had died in this dimension and expanded in another. After some more of this strange writing filled with words or images, I decided I had to get to the bottom of this. I had the choice between visiting a shrink or seeing a medium.

Seeing a shrink seemed quite terminal to me, so I decided to see a medium first. She thought I was channeling an entity. However, I do not channel - I call the activity of extracting information "Heralding", not "channeling", and second, I do not herald an entity. Humans need names, labels to refer to a source, so responding to my need, my source called itself SHET. (Find out more about SHET in What is SHET? and ADAM KADMON from Kabbalah (Cabala))

How is he communicating the messages through me? Is it possible for others to communicate with him? How does SHET think? To these questions, he answered: "I am not ‘talking to Clara': Rha (SHET refers to me as Rha, and not by my given name, Clara) is listening and I am not talking. It's not an action. You act. I am. That's the basic difference between us. Whenever there is communication between myself and Rha, or no communication from your point of view, it is no action from my side. I am, that's it. Thinking is an activity you do, but when I ‘think' something in my dimension, it is being - what I think, is. Do you want to communicate to me, with me, or do you want me to communicate to you? Which ever you choose, it only is possible through you, not me. It depends on your willingness to sacrifice in order to approach me; that is, you need to sacrifice whatever makes you separate from me. You are in me, yet separate when you look upon yourself. If you communicated with me, I would be different than I presently appear to be, because being forwarded through Rha's personality this very communication is partly Rha. Communication through you would be via your personality."

For a long time after the onset of this connection, I still wasn't sure what was happening to me. I thought the material surfaced from my subconscious mind. If it was not my subconscious mind, then I expected some kind of entity to manifest itself. I would have been willing to put up with even a flimsy cloud, anything. When this did not happen, I was quite discouraged. SHET, however, continued guiding me gently: "You are making progress, assimilating and getting more materials in your dream state. Even your mind being interconnected with the physical body can assimilate only a certain amount of data. I am with you now, but you are with me all the time. Your doubts about me being a separate ‘person' or your subconscious come from our very delicate contact. Only part of the SHET consciousness is in your gestalt, whereas all of you are in my gestalt. This will become clearer to you later. I cannot release all the knowledge I intend to impart through you at one time because that would destroy my herald." Indeed, the material was so interesting, even the little I could understand at that time, that I gritted my teeth and went on learning how to receive information directly.

I was taught how to initiate contact and obtain knowledge. I do a specific focus that enfolds into a singularity above my head, from which a fountain of brilliant lights in all colors erupts, enveloping me like the field of a magnet. At the same time, this brilliancy whirls around me, picking up momentum and getting bigger and bigger until it reaches the size of the universe, creating a cone, the core of which is the me that is only a point. When this happens, I feel a pleasantly prickling feeling all over my body, as if a thick layer of energy enveloped me. That is the time when I split my attention and create an opposite motion of light blue sparkles inside the cone accompanied by an inner sound that becomes higher and higher in pitch, I erupt into this other dimension where the information awaits me. This is not a secret ritual. I have used this external exercise for several years to get focused. However, it is important to note that the exercise does not bring about the flow of information, and it might not fit anyone else. Today, in fact, I can split focus without the ritual.

I herald in writing. I receive the questions, and then go into an altered state of consciousness wherein I contract and then expand into other dimensions. Guided by the questions, I receive an abundance of information, which I receive in one shot and then unfold and translate into written English. I receive this information in an abstract conceptual format and translate it while in that altered state of consciousness. However open I may be, it still goes through my filters, and thus, if SHET communicated through others, the information would be something different, because it would go through their filters and the result would be something else. Thus, the written words are the result of both the information I receive and their translation from their abstract form into the spoken language. That is, this information is not entirely objective. In this manner, the SHET you see is what is reflected through my filters. I do my best to objectively relay information, but in his words, "Objectivity is the sum of subjective viewpoints".

The SHET you see through my heralding is the only SHET, because the fact that I am heralding him creates him, at least in the "tangible" sense. "The herald does have a role: her background allows for the kind of information that occurs. The probability of which kind of information can be provided decides the direction of the information and its unfoldment. It allows for its consistency or the lack of it."

SHET does not provide information as an external source. There is no ready-made definite knowledge waiting to be picked up. Perhaps, it would be easier to understand SHET as an interactive cosmic library. The infinite numbers of books in this library are all empty, mere blank pages. I do not find knowledge that is already there, but rather, I bring the knowledge forth by focusing, my focus being the factor of stabilization, a partial definition of all the probabilities within the blank pages. This means that the knowledge is there in an indefinite form, which is no knowledge. Interaction with this infinite and indefinite knowledge means defining, and thereby, actually creating it. As will be shown, definition creates. Consequently, the kind of information I receive from SHET is precisely what it is because I herald it. Although I plug into SHET to gain information, the result is what comes through my focused self in physical reality, which with all the openness and flexibility is still a self, describable in certain ways and not in others. Consequently, no one can "channel" SHET, but everybody can connect to his or her own core of knowledge. One cannot change his or her life by aping me, only by learning Holophany. By changing the way we think, the way we see things, we can create a different reality.

Although, in a sense, I create SHET, he himself evolves when I evolve. He described this as follows: "If you look at the language, you will see that in the beginning, when Rha (SHET refers to me as Rha, not Clara) was a baby herald, the language was much more complicated than in later sessions. That should give you a clue. Yes, I am and I am not the same as I was when I first spoke to Rha. It was a face of mine nearer to Rha then that taught her to reach me in my full face of "ADAM KADMON". Differentiation, fragmentation, for me is focus."

With my state of mind, the questions and my background, I create a framework that triggers the infinite potential to yield information by interacting with that amorphous field. This interaction occurs when I focus, which stabilizes a certain probability from within the infinite possibilities. My focus is partial definition. My interaction with SHET creates not only him but also a different me after each session.